I sent him the link to my blog post here along with writing a bit more to explain why I had written the post.
The email is as follows, with some parts redacted for privacy:
Dear Cllr Spence,
I write this email to you in your capacity as Cabinet Member for Health and Adult Social Care for Essex County Council.
This matter is regarding your blog post on the Essex County Council leader’s and cabinet blog regarding world suicide preventation week.
I have responded to your post with my own, which can be found on my blog here: Cllr John Spence Essex County Council – Essex County Council Exposed
It is regarding the difference between your words, and the reality with which Essex County Council actually treats those who are suicidal and those who attempt suicide.
My experience involves my child who was xx at the time of their suicide attempt on <redacted date>. They were under a child in need plan at the time. All other details can be found on my blog.
My name is <redacted>, your monitoring officer, Paul Turner, knows of me and my blog.
My child’s experience was absolutely horrific, truly horrific, they are still struggling with it today, even though they are an amazing human being.
My child’s name is <redacted – I also went into some detail regarding who my child is as a person, what they like, what they are talented in, to show him that my child is an individual and a real human being>
Their strength is something that just blows me away, someone who has been through so much, yet will not give up. They are my hero.
To you, and Essex County Council, none of that matters.
My child is not important to you, using every single method you can to avoid investigating what led to the suicide attempt, and then after the attempt showing what amounts to a complete lack of care to my child without even acknowledging what they were saying.
The real people behind the numbers that have led to Essex having one of the highest suicide rates in the country do not matter, actually doing anything to either prevent suicide attempts, or to prevent it happening again after an attempt, does not matter.
You state that having conversations around suicide is important, not to Essex County Council it isn’t. I stated plenty of times that my child was suicidal due to the actions of Essex County Council, my child was very vocal to Essex County Council about what had happened to them, how it made them feel, the affects of that on their mental health and that they felt like they wanted to end their life, absolutely nobody cared.
Essex County Council didn’t want to listen, they didn’t before, they didn’t after, they still don’t, solely because it would involve you listening to what my child was saying and holding yourselves accountable.
Imagine an extremely vulnerable xx year old child, undiagnosed autism, you’ve spent 10 years of your life under a consultant paediatric neurologist at GOSH who has diagnosed you with a neurological condition, given it a name before, but then decided it’s not that, it’s something else, but the fact that child has physical issues is not in doubt. These problems cause pain and falls.
Now enter social care, who have decided this is all made up and none of that happened, they refuse to contact the neurologist, they refuse to listen to the child.
Now imagine that child being told over and over again there is nothing wrong with them, every single time they state that they went to appointments and the doctor said things, they were talked over and told that isn’t true. Every single time they describe how they feel in their own body they are told that isn’t true.
I have a text message conversation where <redacted> is crying and screaming for over 40 minutes because a social worker is telling them over and over again there is nothing wrong with them. Their <sibling> has to leave the house because they cannot cope with the level of distress. <redacted> over and over again saying there is something wrong with them. Not allowed medical treatment, mental health treatment, nothing.
They ended up on another occasion barricading themselves in their room, screaming at the top of their voice so the social worker couldn’t come in, they then seriously self harmed because they were trapped, they said their other option, which they actually almost did to the point of going to the window, was to jump out of the window to get away, the fall would have been onto concrete, that would likely have killed them, they didn’t care at the time, they just wanted to escape.
Can you imagine what that would do to a childs mental health. I can tell you, it was, and still is, devastating, leading to their suicide attempt a year later.
They told yourselves what had happened, I told yourselves what had happened, I provided the evidence, the text messages, although <redacted> voice should have been enough.
ECC have done everything to avoid even investigating this, deciding on covering it up instead. Nothing, no apology to <redacted>, I was pleading with them before the suicide attempt stating I was scared that would happen, wanting them to listen, if not to me than to <redacted>. To tell <redacted> they are sorry and the emotional abuse they suffered was wrong. It’s all been covered up, no investigation no nothing.
Likewise after the suicide attempt.
Then I read your blog post, with all the rubbish about how Essex County Council cares about anything to do with suicide, and i’m hurt and angry because it’s just not true.
Hence my blog, which isn’t only about what happened with <redacted> but about a lot of other things. You do not care, not at all, not even a little bit.
I have evidence, I have the truth, hence why i’m sharing it with the public, and i’m not giving up. It may take a while for the truth to come out and for Essex County Council to be held accountable, but it will happen, because i’m telling the truth and the evidence backs me up. You just have the power to do whatever you want when things go wrong to protect yourselves as opposed to protecting the residents of Essex.
I do not want a response to this email, and any response will be deleted unread. I’ve heard all of your excuses already and there is no benefit to myself of hearing any more utter rubbish from the local authority,
You don’t care, you don’t care about suicide, you don’t care about the individuals who attempt it.
You certainly don’t care about my child who is still suffering from the effects of what they went through at the hands of Essex County Council.
I’ll hold the local authority to account, and there are people out there who will help me.
I would urge you to delete your blog post or at the very least amend it to reflect the truth, just put the links so that loved one’s know where to go for help.
Essex County Council caused my child to attempt suicide, this has not even been investigated, solely because when it comes down to it, your actions don’t match your words.
As already stated, any response to this email will be deleted unread, the bottom line is you covered up what happened to my children, which caused further harm to them.
I have written this solely because i’m angry as when you talk about suicide in Essex, you are talking about my baby.
Obviously that is where this ends, and on the off chance he does not respect my wishes and responds, i’ll just delete the email.
I was going to send him some of the evidence and I did actually start transcribing the text messages I spoke about in my email, but then I realised what i was doing and deleted it.
Essex County Council already have all of those, and have deemed what caused my child to attempt suicide as not worthy of investigation, using every trick in the book, including some they invented themselves, and downright lies, to even avoid investigating it.
Then you have Cllr John Spence making a blog post like that, making out that he actually cares when he is a member of the local authority who care so little about the life of my child that they have done everything they can to not even investigate..
I waited three days to write this post until I was less angry, turns out i’m not less angry and i’m still as angry, hurt, and upset, as when I read the utter rubbish he’d put in that blog post.
How dare an elected member of Essex County Council say that after what they did to my child.
Actually, 3 out of 4 of my children.
I’ve spent the past three years with three of my children trying to not have them kill themselves.
Ever wrestled a knife out of the hands of a 10 year old who was threatening to slit their wrists because they wanted so desperately to die? I have. Strangely enough, despite telling Gabriel Lowrie this and begging for help, it didn’t even make it into the social care notes. Obviously didn’t get any help, so i’ve been dealing with it by myself.
I should have written about my child that i’m now talking about to Cllr John Spence, not that he would care.
No longer suicidal, but social care damaged my child so much that, I am actually struggling to find the words here, i’m also sobbing my heart out as I write this. It’s bad, it’s really really bad, my child openly states that “social care ruined my childhood”.
I can remember describing in detail how badly damaged my child was at the child in need review meeting on the 7th June 2019. Stating my child was suicidal, describing my child’s behaviour, stating what help my child needed desperately. It was agreed by the other professionals present that certain actions should be taken for my child’s wellbeing.
Given that Leanne Grant, who I believe was under pressure from Jo Prosser to cover things up, didn’t record the meeting, there is absolutely no record of what I said, what was agreed.
Essex County Council care so little that instead of helping my child, and actioning the things agreed upon in that meeting, they wiped it’s existence simply by not recording it. My child was suicidal at that time.
THAT is how Essex County Council deals with those who are suicidal, not the lies that Cllr John Spence wrote in his blog post about one suicide being too many or whatever it was.
Fast forward to now, and my child is still in a pretty bad way.
Details are here regarding that missing meeting
Essex County Council caused significant harm to my children, and the only one’s who end up with any kind of damage from what happened is my children, and not the people who harmed them.
I tried my hardest to get Essex County Council to do something, anything, to make things better, they just put roadblock after roadblock in front of me to not even investigate.
So my child, who is now so far different to the happy normal developing child who Gabriel Lowrie and Billie Faulkner first met, the child who Billie Faulkner somehow got to state that their siblings were absolutely normal and then suddenly changed in 2011, when that child would have only been 2 years old, and then used that evidence against us,
Essex County Council destroyed that child, my child can’t even trust his own memories as whatever was said to him by Billie Faulkner to get him to say that about his siblings, became his truth. Billie Faulkner and Gabriel Lowrie implanted a false memory into my child’s head. When my child ended up realising that what they thought was a real memory couldn’t possibly be true the effects on my child was devastating, truly devastating.
Essex County Council aren’t ashamed about what they did to him, Gabriel Lowrie and Billie Faulkner aren’t ashamed they implanted a false memory inside my child’s head.
Cllr John Spence isn’t ashamed that this led to my child wanting to kill himself.
He’s too busy telling the residents of Essex about how every life is important. He must have forgotten to add that every life is important apart from when it suits Essex County Council, and then children’s lives are collateral damage.
As exhausted as I am, and that is extremely exhausted, caring for my children is exhausting, i’m regularly awake for 24hours and then only get 3 or 4 hours sleep, I will hold Essex County Council to account for what they have done to my children.
I’ve started a twitter account and just need to find the right people who will share my tweets, which may take some time, spread my story through social media, utilise everything I can to share our story as far as I can. Go to the press.
It may take a while, given my responsibilities.
I am not crazy or unbalanced, i’m just a mum who had to watch while Essex County Council destroyed my children’s lives and I have spent the past three years trying to put my children back together while battling against a local authority who do not have an ounce of compassion or integrity, that goes for both the officers and the members.
So no, I don’t want a response as it will just cause me further harm to have Cllr John Spence telling me i’m lying, or threatening me with legal action, or god only knows what else.
I felt the need to email him as I am so angry and hurt with what he wrote given what the reality of how Essex County Council actually deals with suicidal children, and it is so upsetting to see an elected member making out like they actually care when the complete opposite is true.
It just feels like a huge them versus us situation, the members sit there without caring what it’s like to be those who are actually dealing with the things they are talking about, and they present a reality that is so far removed from the true reality of things.
If the reality Cllr John Spence is talking about in his post actually existed, my children would have been supported by Essex County Council, not discarded like trash. They were vocal about what had happened, what had been done to them, because they were so very vocal, they actually wouldn’t shut up about it, they still don’t, that was a problem for Essex County Council. So they moved to covering it up, that meeting that was never recorded is evidence of that.
If Cllr John Spence’s portrayal of reality was true, my children would not be how they are now.
We are talking about a local authority here who refused to investigate a child’s suicide attempt and the causes of that, even when the child was using their voice and telling Essex County Council what happened. All my children have used their voices, it’s just the Essex County Council officers and members have the power to cover things up, to refuse to investigate, to cause further harm.
Essex County Council is rotten to the core, my children experienced that for themselves.