Heidi Hibbett Forcing me to Disclose Sexual Abuse in front of my Children.

This took place in the February half term in 2019.

All of my children were home. My house is overcrowded, I do not have a bedroom, I actually share the living room with one of my children, I literally have no privacy, none.

I’d either called or texted Heidi Hibbet regarding my child’s mental health.  Heidi had called me but i’d missed the call.  The call in question was me calling her back.

All children were at home as it was half term so no school.  Home is to small for our needs as is evidenced in our notes.  I have no privacy from the children.  I talked about my child’s mental health.  Heidi brushed if my concerns as she always did.

She then said that I’d never talked to her about the sexual abuse that happened to me . I reminded her how short the time was my timeline was done in and that she’d said we would finish it another time then said not to worry.

She said “that doesn’t matter how short it was in my experience it’s always the first thing people talk about when doing a timeline”. She said she needed to know the details if what happened to me.  I said about doing it face to face and she said no as she needed the details then. 

I said I had no privacy and my children were around and she kept on telling me that I had to give her the details.  She wanted all the details, I’d never told anyone before, she wanted intimate descriptions, I felt violated.

I was begging her to stop and do it face to face, she just kept on saying I had to.  I was crying and begging her to not make me do it but she said she needed the details.  I have no idea why she needed the details but she kept on saying she did.

I kept on getting interrupted by my children which Heidi Hibbett could hear.  My child came in at one point and was asking me why I was crying and I had to tell my child it was something to do with my eye.  Heidi was relentless.  It was awful.  It was degrading and makes me feel so dirty and disgusting.

She was utterly relentless, I was crying and begging her on the phone to not do this, trying unsuccessfully to keep my children out, it was absolutely horrendous, one of the worst things I have ever been through in my life.

I believe Heidi Hibbett was meant to have done it earlier, but hadn’t, and to save her own skin from being criticised over not having done it, she decided to torture a vulnerable woman by enjoying her pain as she is forced to disclose the most intimate details of childhood sexual abuse over the phone with her children within earshot.

I cannot be certain, but it is possible that at this point the safeguarding referral had been made by the other professionals as detailed in the previous post, and Heidi may also have done this to punish me for my children disclosing that she had been emotionally abusing her.

Essex County Council have refused to investigate this, therefore they condone her actions.

I have since refused to go to the police with details of one of the men who abused me as a child who I believe has contact with children, I would never put myself in that situation again.

I have also refused to go to Essex Children’s Services over two cases of suspected child sexual abuse.

In one of those cases the child made a disclosure themselves and that was to the Police, who take disclosures properly.

With regards to the other case, there is nothing I can do about it. I will never contact children’s services about it, firstly as i’d have to be questioned about why i’m reporting it, i’m not setting myself up to go through what Heidi Hibbett put me through, that would be extremely dangerous for my mental health.

I also could never be responsible for a child going through what I went through with Heidi Hibbett, i’m an adult, a strong adult, and the way Essex Children’s Services take disclosures of childhood sexual abuse almost broke me, it would absolutely destroy a child to go through what I went through. Likewise the child’s mother would have to go through the same.

I could not live with knowing i’m responsible for putting someone else through what Essex County Council put me through by forcing me to make a disclosure of sexual abuse, it was absolutely horrible, to the extent that i’m crying and shaking writing this.

All I can do is wait and hope the mother realises what is happening, or the child discloses, and then they can go to the police.

All I can do is plead with anyone reading this to not report suspected child sexual abuse to Essex Children’s Services. I cannot put into words how badly they treat victims of sexual abuse, it’s absolutely horrendous, it’s worse than the sexual abuse itself.

I was forced to go through it, and i’m passionate about getting the word out there so that no man, woman, or child, ever has to go through what I went through again. The only way to prevent that is by not reporting suspected child sexual abuse to Essex Children’s Services.

While sexual abuse is a terrible thing and nobody wants it to happen, or to continue, Essex Children’s Services will just make it worse and will damage the victim badly, my fear would be to the point of suicide.

There is a huge part of me that wouldn’t mind having covid and lockdown back. The child in question was safe in 2020, but was definitely not safe last year when my worst fears were realised, if there could be another lockdown, that would safeguard that child.

This is an absolutely horrible situation to be in, where those tasked with helping children who have been abused, and stopping it from continuing, will just utterly destroy the victim. There is no safety in Essex for child victims of sexual abuse unless it goes straight to the Police.

If I contacted the Police, they would contact Essex Children’s Services to investigate, they would then utterly destroy the child and the child’s mother.

This also goes right to the top, something that Louise McKinlay knows about and knows it wasn’t even investigated, instead she lied and threatened me.

I have no idea why they do this to victims, my best guess is that in doing so it stops children disclosing so there is less work for them to do, it may be a financial decision, as more work will cost more money. Or an Ofsted decision, as it wouldn’t count on statistics if the child or parent can’t go forward with something because they are too badly damaged from disclosing it.

I honestly don’t know, and it’s something i’ve thought about a lot. Whatever it is there must be some benefit to Essex Children’s Services in doing things this way.

This was something I was desperate for ECC to investigate so they could see how harmful this is and put the correct procedures in place.

it’s still not been investigated and never will be as they are happy with how they do things.

As already mentioned, Louise McKinlay threatened me with legal action rather than use the power she has to change things.

This is why I cannot state it clearly enough that Cllr Louise Mckinlay is solely in politics for what she can gain from it. It’s not about the children for her, they take second place to her desires.